everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
