I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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