I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
