are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize