Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
