i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
