Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Farmville is her only friend.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
