I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
