Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
