I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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