Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
it's great music for shaving your balls
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
