I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
