I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
