i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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