This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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