I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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