my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
