I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize