You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
