We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
