Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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