i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
