Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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