i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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