FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
