Dual....:-)
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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