that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
