You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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