umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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