the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
