Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
