a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
