I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
