Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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