I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
