I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So much rum. So many feels.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
