So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
