so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
