oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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