The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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