Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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