I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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