I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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