The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
