Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
