My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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