Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
