I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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