If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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