For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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