It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
