I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
