hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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