And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
