i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
