so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
